How My Heart is Breaking This Week

It looks like a lot of hearts are breaking these days.

It started a couple months ago with Blake Lively:

Despite this being a story about her splitting up with a guy it really is just another thing that breaks my heart.  This story is a couple months old.  So you know what that means?  She’s had plenty of time to rebound with someone else!

Every guy around her was calculating how long it would take for her to be ready to date again so they can swoop in at just the right time.

And someone has!

GOSLING!!!  This is the last time I let you break my heart, sir.

And there have been several other break ups recently.  You’ve seen ’em in the news.  Zac and Vanessa, Tony and Eva, Randy Quaid and sanity.

But the break up breaking my heart the most is Scarlett Johansson’s and Ryan Reynolds’.  And I know what you’re thinking, “But Jason, that means Scarlett is single.  You have a chance!”

You think I have a chance?  Ryan Reynolds couldn’t keep her and you think I have a chance??  There is no hope…with dope.  Or for me and Scarlett.

And that is how my heart is breaking this week.