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Who’s a Purple Nurple?

So, actor James Woods, 66, is dating someone new. Maybe too new in that she’s only 20 years old so she’s a bit new to the world compared to him.

How he is able to do that is beyond me. I’m 34 and I couldn’t date a 20 year old. 20 year olds just look like taller middle schoolers to me most of the time. And that’s the case with James Woods’ daughter girlfriend. Here’s a picture:

Will your daughter be joining us this evening, sir?

You know when you saw the 3rd Harry Potter movie and saw the cast members and said, “Oh, they’ve hit their growth spurt,” but you still saw them as a child kinda? That’s what she looks like.
I couldn’t do it. What would I possibly have in common with them? 20 year old girls only know Matthew Perry as that funny guy who just can’t get a TV show to stay on the air no matter how good it is.

Go On was great! COME ON, NBC!

I just can’t see myself having a conversation with a person whose conversations usually consist of the phrase, “So, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

How awkward must it be for them to have dinner together at some nice restaurant and hear, “And will your daughter be joining us this evening, sir?” from the hostess? (Watch out, hostess! He’s got eyes on you!) I just couldn’t handle that.

I hope George Clooney is taking notes. Notes on what not to do when he’s 66. At that point he should only date women who are 40. No one will judge that. But when they’re 3 decades younger you’re going too young.

This whole thing just boggles my mind. If I meet a girl who is 25 and super cool I say to my friends, “Man, she is so great, but I couldn’t go for her. Isn’t she too young?” They all say, “No,” but if you have to ask if they’re too young…they’re too young.

How does he even meet a 20 year old at his age? Through his kids? That must be an awkward college vacation. You bring your friends home and your dad hits on them. But seriously, how does he meet 20 year olds?
I’m not asking cause I want to know where to find them. I know where they are. They’re at the gym, but what would possess a person to go up and talk to them? I hardly ever talk to women at the gym, much less the 20 year old girls. The only time that I do is when I think they’re older or they’re in my spot. (I was using that mat!)

How a 66 year old could get with a 20 year old is beyond my comprehension.

So, who’s a purple nurple this week? James Woods?

Nah, it’s still Paula Deen.

Not cause she said the n-word this one time, but because she said she didn’t call some other black guys the n-word because, “that’s not what they were.”
Actually, you shouldn’t have called them that because YOU SHOULDN’T CALL PEOPLE THAT OUT OF RESPECT FOR HUMANITY AND COMMON DECENCY. So you’re a purple nurple, Paula Deen.

And James Woods is, too. That’s super weird, dude.

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Who’s a Purple Nurple?

Someone is a purple nurple, but I actually don’t know who to be more disgusted with.  Michael Douglas’ ex-wife or his ex-wife’s lawyer.

Michael Douglas, the actor from such hit films as “Wall Street,” “Fatal Attraction,” and “Basic Instinct” reprises his role from “Wall Street” in the new film “Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps” which sounds like the video game version of “Wall Street.”
He is being sued by his former wife, whom he divorced 10 years ago after awhile of not being together anyway.  She’s asking for 50% of the amount he made for his work on the new film.

I know what you’re thinking, “But they weren’t married when he made this film.  How can she lay claim to this?  Especially since she’s made over $6 million in DVD sales since their divorce for movies he made prior to the divorce and he doesn’t own the rights to the character he played in both films.”
Interesting that you know so much about the situation but still have to ask questions, but to answer your question – I don’t know.

But that’s not even the main reason why I’m calling anyone a purple nurple.  What makes this so grotesque is that he just announced last week that he has THROAT CANCER!

And her lawyer had the gall to reference a famous line from “Wall Street” to make HIM look like the greedy one.  “Greed is about someone…who won’t pay his spouse.”

Are you kidding me??

That would be like Michael Douglas’ lawyer saying, “Your honor, there is one basic instinct here.  This woman has a fatal attraction to money.  Why not just boil his rabbit?  Seriously, talk about romancing the stone…s she’s gonna be buying with all that money.  Really.  I’m falling down over here.  Is this a game, or what?  Is he gonna accidentally shoot his brother played by Sean Penn?  What a perfect murder that would be.  He is Michael Douglas…and he IS the president of the United States.  Wonder Boys!”

Admittedly, I got a little carried away there.

Lady who used to be married to Michael Douglas and your lawyer…you’re a purple nurple.