Who’s a Purple Nurple?

So, actor James Woods, 66, is dating someone new. Maybe too new in that she’s only 20 years old so she’s a bit new to the world compared to him.

How he is able to do that is beyond me. I’m 34 and I couldn’t date a 20 year old. 20 year olds just look like taller middle schoolers to me most of the time. And that’s the case with James Woods’ daughter girlfriend. Here’s a picture:

Will your daughter be joining us this evening, sir?

You know when you saw the 3rd Harry Potter movie and saw the cast members and said, “Oh, they’ve hit their growth spurt,” but you still saw them as a child kinda? That’s what she looks like.
I couldn’t do it. What would I possibly have in common with them? 20 year old girls only know Matthew Perry as that funny guy who just can’t get a TV show to stay on the air no matter how good it is.

Go On was great! COME ON, NBC!

I just can’t see myself having a conversation with a person whose conversations usually consist of the phrase, “So, what do you want to be when you grow up?”

How awkward must it be for them to have dinner together at some nice restaurant and hear, “And will your daughter be joining us this evening, sir?” from the hostess? (Watch out, hostess! He’s got eyes on you!) I just couldn’t handle that.

I hope George Clooney is taking notes. Notes on what not to do when he’s 66. At that point he should only date women who are 40. No one will judge that. But when they’re 3 decades younger you’re going too young.

This whole thing just boggles my mind. If I meet a girl who is 25 and super cool I say to my friends, “Man, she is so great, but I couldn’t go for her. Isn’t she too young?” They all say, “No,” but if you have to ask if they’re too young…they’re too young.

How does he even meet a 20 year old at his age? Through his kids? That must be an awkward college vacation. You bring your friends home and your dad hits on them. But seriously, how does he meet 20 year olds?
I’m not asking cause I want to know where to find them. I know where they are. They’re at the gym, but what would possess a person to go up and talk to them? I hardly ever talk to women at the gym, much less the 20 year old girls. The only time that I do is when I think they’re older or they’re in my spot. (I was using that mat!)

How a 66 year old could get with a 20 year old is beyond my comprehension.

So, who’s a purple nurple this week? James Woods?

Nah, it’s still Paula Deen.

Not cause she said the n-word this one time, but because she said she didn’t call some other black guys the n-word because, “that’s not what they were.”
Actually, you shouldn’t have called them that because YOU SHOULDN’T CALL PEOPLE THAT OUT OF RESPECT FOR HUMANITY AND COMMON DECENCY. So you’re a purple nurple, Paula Deen.

And James Woods is, too. That’s super weird, dude.