How My Heart is Breaking this Week

Rarely do you get good news when you turn on the TV to watch the news or click over to a news website.  But when you do get good news it’s a joyous occasion.  That happened over the weekend for me.

But as the next news cycle begins the news organizations go back to their old “doom and gloom” coverage.


What?  Pippa had a date for the Royal Wedding??  I JUST found out about her last week!

I didn’t care about the Royal Wedding.  I’m not British or romantic enough to care, I guess.  But once I saw that shining face of fun and adorableness I was hooked!
She even has an adorable name!  Pippa!  Aww, so cute.  I’d definitely go to a wedding with her.  And come to think of it, I love wedding cake.  It’s my favorite thing about weddings.  I can’t wait until I get married.  I’ve dreamed about the cake I’d have since I was a little boy.
Oh, yellow and almond cakes with ice cream cake frosting and butter cream frosting draped with fresh fruit – GET IN MY BELLY!
Man, I bet that Royal Wedding cake was delicious!  And what’s that I spy on the menu?  Brisket with Horseradish?  Delectable!

This is too disappointing.  This whole ordeal has maybe even ruined weddings for me.  I was all about some Pippa, ya’ll.  Pippa!

But now I find she’s brought a date?  Some chump of a cricket player.  What kind of sport is that?  Call me when I’m done with my game of Madden.  Loser.

I’m hurt guys.  I mean, I just assumed she was going to the wedding without a date.  It’s never fun for the date when you’re in the wedding.

What was Pippa even thinking?  How inconsiderate.  Maybe she’s not the fun, sweet, darling of a woman I thought.

Oh, who am I kidding?  You had me at ‘ello, Pippa.  You had me at ‘ello.

And that is how my heart is breaking this week.