Things I Learned

I learn very little most of the time when I read an article on the internet. I usually already knew all of those “secret facts” about celebrities, and I didn’t want to learn them in the first place. Great, Conan O’Brien can tap dance. Who cares when the man can string dance like that? Focusing on his tap dancing is like focusing on how great Michael Jackson walked forward (which was called sunwalking).

Anyway, every so often you get that one article that actually teaches you a lot. For me today, it was “50 States, 50 Sandwiches,” on Zagat! (

Here are some things I learned:

Indiana can go to hell because it doesn’t even make since for them to have a “Philly” sandwich.
Sloppy Joe sounds a lot better than “Loose-Meat Sandwich.”
“The Hot Brown” is the worst sounding name for something that sounds delicious when described.
I’m sorry, but the word “pasty” is just not something I want used for something I could potentially eat.
A Philly Cheese steak isn’t even Pennsylvania’s best sandwich (making me question why anyone cares then)
This country loves pork.
I’m spending too much time on the internet.

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