The Only Game I got is X-Box

I have the “best” idea to woo women I’m interested in.

Be abundantly honest and talk like you are on a middle school level!

Brilliant! I know!

“I have a huuuge crush on you. You like how many U’s I used? It was for emphasis.”
“You’re really pretty and it makes me feel soft inside my stomach! Can I take you bowling?”
“I’m gonna ‘like’ a deep Facebook pic of yours just to send the message that I was looking at all of your Facebook pics last night.”
“You’re like Krispy Kreme donuts…too sweet!”
“I’d treat you like a Coldplay song.”
“Remember that time I said I’d treat you like a Coldplay song? I was talking about ‘Sparks.’ I meant it.”

I’m never gonna do this, but sometimes I just want to. Because it’s more honest and to the point than the nonsense I do say. Nonsense like, “Hey, I think you’re really sweet. I would like to go to dinner with me sometime, may I?”
Yeah, it seems nice and normal, but it never works. Girls aren’t used to a guy being nice and normal so they have no clue how to respond to it.

How do girls respond to it?

I don’t know. They haven’t returned my phone calls.

So I’m taking a different approach. The one where I try to verbalize how they’re cute little dimples make me feel when I blush and get all bashful.

I won’t ever try this. I’m going back to just asking simple questions.

Check yes or no.

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