How My Heart is Breaking Forever

Jennifer Aniston Engaged to be married??

No. No. No. NO!

The time between Pitt and now was my time to meet her and sweep her off her feet with my charm and my nothing else. But no. My lifetime crush is engaged, probably for the last time.

And by “lifetime” I just mean since I saw her on The Edge. I went to see Leprechaun in the theater for her. Yeah. That’s real. Did you see Leprechaun in the theater, Justin Theroux? NO? Figures.

But you got her.

Fine beardy. Make her happy for the rest of her life.

And that’s how my heart is breaking this week.

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