RISE

The new Wendy’s girl is cute. Crazy. I mean, talking to salads like they’re people, getting in the backseat of someone’s car before they get in the car…crazy. But you’re super cute, new Wendy’s girl. You Lily Aldrin cute.

But what in the world is this??

So now our sandwiches are procreating? GROSS! It looks delicious, but I feel like this is wrong. Forget stem cells and vegan lifestyles – the concept of our food having a “son” or “daughter” and promoting it as that is bizarre and far more polarizing.

Visit Facebook as they suggest and get your statuses ready and your arguments together! We must take this abomination down and fight for what is right! On August 8th, take to your nearest Five Guys and order the kind of burger God intended you to eat. This fast food cannibalism must end – WE RISE AT DAWN!!

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