Art Imitates Life

Why are people strapping bombs to people in real life?

I thought “30 Minutes or Less” was just entirely made up, but this is actually something that not only CAN happen, but DID happen?

Movies are supposed to have outlandish, unbelievable premises.  That’s kind of the point of creating something, you have free reign.  And I implore you to be creative.  The more outlandish and creative the better.
My dad complains about movies all the time.  “You can’t switch faces with someone.  That’s stupid.”  “So this spaceship has been sitting there for decades and Will Smith can just get in it and then fly it?”  Well, for one, yes.  Because Will Smith can do anything.  But also, THAT’S your complaint about “Independence Day?”  Not that it sucked?  I say that kind of crap is exactly what movies are made for.  It’s a fantasy world so it should be outlandish.  People should act real, but situations and circumstances can be ridiculous.

So when I saw the premise for “30 Minutes or Less” I thought, “Hey, that’s fine.  Whatever.  It’s a movie.  That’s where crap like that should exist.”
As convincing as “Batman Begins” was at making me believe that someone could do what Bruce Wayne did you still can’t do that.  It can only happen in a movie.

That’s not entirely true, because “30 Minutes or Less” is based on something that actually happened in 2003!  Only that guy was killed.

Well that’s it.  We need a Batman.  Seriously.  If jerks are gonna go all diabolical madman on us with crap that only makes sense in movies then someone needs to step up and be Batman.

And no, I’m not talking about those morons who put on costumes and “fight” crime.  They don’t count.  They’re idiots.  That’s why they get beat up all the time.  That and they are stupid.

If you want to be a crime fighting vigilante you need to ask yourself some questions.

  1. Do you have an actual super power?  If yes, by all means, fight crime.  If no, continue to question 2.
  2. Are you a God or Goddess from another realm who was somehow teleported here?  Yes?  Then by all means, fight crime.  If no, continue to question 3.
  3. Are you one of the world’s richest billionaires who became a ninja and studied various forms of martial arts who can afford gadgets and tanks and a fully-functioning combat suit that can deflect bullets?  Yes?  Then by all means, fight crime.  If not, get over yourself and stop wasting everyone’s time.
The world has a lot of billionaires, but I don’t have much faith that Bill Gates could whup some butt.  And Warren Buffett?  Forget it.  This ain’t happening.  All the good super hero names are taken anyway.

One Reply to “Art Imitates Life”

  1. Dude…TOTALLY agree with you…
    That’s why it’s called FICTION!
    It’s not suppossed be feasible in our world.

    And your superhero questions at the bottom are priceless, bro!

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