I’m Hosting the Oscars Next Year!!!

With all the talk about the squabble between James Franco (Oscar Co-host) and Bruce Vilanch (long-time Oscar writer) I thought I’d mention why I hated this year’s telecast of the Oscars…in short, it blew.

I’m not blaming the hosts like everyone else.  Haven’t we been around long enough to know that the hosts don’t produce these shows usually?  Yeah, Niel Patrick Harris did when he hosted the Emmy’s, but if you read anything about this year’s Oscars you’d know Hathaway and Franco didn’t produce the show.
Are the people blaming the hosts the same people that think Conan and other talk show hosts are actually recording their shows at 11 or 11:30?  I bet they’re the same people who think stand up comedians come up with their jokes right on the spot…even when they’ve heard the comic do the joke before.
They thought Bruce Willis really died at the end of Sixth Sense.  Obviously, he died at the beginning when he was shot.  They just revealed he was dead the whole time at the end of the movie.  Maroons.

Anyway, I’m not blaming the hosts.  The problem is everyone knows Hathaway (who is lovely and glamorous) and Franco (who is James Dean above-it-all cool) are good SNL hosts, but the producers forgot that the people involved with producing an episode of SNL bother to write a funny show.

But not these producers.  They wanted to bore us to tears.  While watching this my mind actually fastforwarded to years down the road when I’m married, all of my friends have kids and we’re just bored, domesticated and the only exciting thing going on for us is watching the Oscars.
That’s what this telecast did to me that night.  I still love you, Anne Hathaway, but so help me if those producers get nominated for an Emmy for this.

You could tell they were trying to stay away from Ricky Gervais-like jokes insulting everyone, but instead insulted our own sense of what we consider entertainment.

Emmy producers, you succeeded at one thing that night.  Making me wish I was doing anything other than looking at something with Anne Hathaway.