Thanks, astronomers. You haven’t screwed up this much since you downgraded Pluto.
Poor planet named after a cartoon dog.
If you haven’t heard, astronomers have decided to go by the original Babylonian zodiac and it’s thrown off what your “sign” is. So now I’m not a Capricorn anymore. Now I’m a stinkin’ Sagittarius. Which sounds like a dinosaur with man-boobs.
So I went from being; practical, prudent, patient, humorous and careful to being; honest, straightforward, intellectual, philosophical, and freedom-loving (which is bullcrap, I love authority. If I were a state my motto would be “Tread on me all you want!” Just ask my ex-girlfriend Angie). I’m also supposed to be optimistic. My life is ruined!
Well this just stinks. I went from being a funny person to being someone who can enjoy funny people. Screw that. I’d rather make people laugh than go along with a good ribbing. The next person who teases me is gonna get snapped on like I was Dave Chappelle. Spaghetti, spaghetti, spaghetti. HA-HA, HA-HA, HAA!
They’re doing this to accommodate the subtle shifts in the Earth’s axis which changes the “constellation house” the sun is in during certain times of the year. I mean really!? Who cares? I swear, that sun is gonna be the death of us one day.
Not sounding too optimistic or intellectual now am I, astronomers? Or should I say, “JERKS?”