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Who’s a Purple Nurple?

Someone is a purple nurple, but I actually don’t know who to be more disgusted with.  Michael Douglas’ ex-wife or his ex-wife’s lawyer.

Michael Douglas, the actor from such hit films as “Wall Street,” “Fatal Attraction,” and “Basic Instinct” reprises his role from “Wall Street” in the new film “Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps” which sounds like the video game version of “Wall Street.”
He is being sued by his former wife, whom he divorced 10 years ago after awhile of not being together anyway.  She’s asking for 50% of the amount he made for his work on the new film.

I know what you’re thinking, “But they weren’t married when he made this film.  How can she lay claim to this?  Especially since she’s made over $6 million in DVD sales since their divorce for movies he made prior to the divorce and he doesn’t own the rights to the character he played in both films.”
Interesting that you know so much about the situation but still have to ask questions, but to answer your question – I don’t know.

But that’s not even the main reason why I’m calling anyone a purple nurple.  What makes this so grotesque is that he just announced last week that he has THROAT CANCER!

And her lawyer had the gall to reference a famous line from “Wall Street” to make HIM look like the greedy one.  “Greed is about someone…who won’t pay his spouse.”

Are you kidding me??

That would be like Michael Douglas’ lawyer saying, “Your honor, there is one basic instinct here.  This woman has a fatal attraction to money.  Why not just boil his rabbit?  Seriously, talk about romancing the stone…s she’s gonna be buying with all that money.  Really.  I’m falling down over here.  Is this a game, or what?  Is he gonna accidentally shoot his brother played by Sean Penn?  What a perfect murder that would be.  He is Michael Douglas…and he IS the president of the United States.  Wonder Boys!”

Admittedly, I got a little carried away there.

Lady who used to be married to Michael Douglas and your lawyer…you’re a purple nurple.

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I Wish He Were More Like Marcel Marceau

For the last 6 years my belief when it came to politics has been that no matter who is elected things can’t get so bad that we’d be living the life portrayed in Mad Max or Soylent Green.

Yeah, things might get tough for a particular group, but for the most part we’d be fine.  It’s just 2 years or 4 years, anyway.  They’ll get voted out of office or terms limits will cut off their time ruining our states or our country.  Then someone else will come and keep us from becoming Uzbekistan.  (note: I have no clue how things are in Uzbekistan.  I just like saying Uzbekistan.)

Well, that argument has finally met its match.

Basil Marceaux.

You might have seen segments about him on The Colbert Report.  If you haven’t, let me fill you in.

THE GUY IS BAT CRAP CRAZY.

I would link to some sites to illustrate my point, but if you just throw a rock on the internet you’d hit something that shows just how nuts this guy is.

I will include this video, though, because the best way to listen to Basil Marceaux is with subtitles.

Geez, and people say President George W. Bush is a bad public speaker.  This guy makes President Bush look like Frederick Douglass.  I have to say, in Crazy Land I can actually follow Basil’s line of thinking.

If there is a way for a state to be run so poorly that it literally sinks into the Earth and disappears, Basil Marceaux would be the man to do it.  I honestly don’t know if Tennessee would exist if he governed it.  I think it would just disappear or be sold to Uzbekistan.  See, it’s fun!

This is just so rich.  I can’t wait to track the TN Primaries later today!

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What’s That on Your Poker Face?

While at the gym earlier a lady on an elliptical in front of me is watching CNN.  That “Showbiz” show is on but all they’re showing is that picture circulating media outlets of Jessica Simpson’s twitpic of her and her new boyfriend kissing adorably and Lindsay Lohan looking like how I imagine Hollywood feels.

This is not news!  It’s not “show” and it’s not “biz,” either.  And it’s CNN, so they can’t use the argument that showing sleaze and non-story stories gets them ratings.  They don’t have any ratings!  Or integrity!

Here’s an idea!  Don’t do what every other entertainment news program is doing.  Instead, actually talk about the business.  I’m not saying they have to go as inside and nerdy as the pilot episode of Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. (I loved that show)  I’m just saying that they should show something that actually reflects the name of the program.

Talk about entertainment and talk about the business aspect of the entertainment world.  Don’t run a story about a picture Jessica Simpson tweeted.
That’s not a story.  And on top of that, Jessica Simpson beat you to it.  Anyone who cared about that already saw it when they were on Twitter.

The news used to be about stories you wouldn’t have already heard about because you couldn’t have.  Or they’d give you more details on a story you probably already heard about.  Not about stuff everyone’s already talked about.

I’m sorry, but it’s not news to tell us that Lady GaGa does cocaine occasionally.  We already figured that…because we’ve seen her.
The only news you could bring us on that story is what her connotation of “occasionally” is because given her act it’s possible she thinks it means, “A lot.  Like, a LOT, a lot.”

I’ll never forgive you, Travel Channel, for putting something other than Samantha Brown on when I’m working out.