Month: July 2010

Can you imagine having a trillion dollars??

That’s a lot of money.  That’s not screw around money.  That’s not piss off money.  That’s I-can-kill-everyone-and-start-over money.
I can’t even wrap my head around that amount.  Think of all the things you could do if you had a trillion dollars.

>I’d have a party with Bill Gates and Oprah, show them my bank account, then point and laugh at them.
>I’d make an Iron Man suit.
>I’d remake the Star Wars prequels and insure they are as great as they should’ve been.  I will definitely play a young Lando Calrissian in it, too.  I think I just thought of my next Halloween costume.  And I’ll drink Colt 45 the whole time.  Not on Halloween, I mean in my Star Wars.
>I’d get Tyler Perry to produce my wedding.  Can you imagine how huge of a weekend I’d have if it were a Tyler Perry wedding?  He could play all the parts.
>I would pay Michael J Fox to show up at my birthday party in the DeLorean from Back to the Future.  Then I’d leave with him in the DeLorean and make him say the “Flux Capacitor…fluxing” line.
>I’d buy love just to prove the Beatles wrong.
>I’d buy a shaved ice machine.  I know, modest.

Well, the Travel Channel burned me again.

First, they were showing practically nude girls in their programing while I tried to innocently watch mindless television while working out at the gym.

I gave it up, but a month or so ago went back to them because they changed their schedule.  They’d show Man Vs. Food for an hour, then Samantha Brown the next hour, and for a third hour Anthony Bourdain.

It was great.  No matter when I went to the gym during a 3 hour block I could see something I wanted to actually watch.

Well, NO MORE.  For some reason they changed their schedule.  They only have Samantha Brown and that’s not until 1, which is around the time I try to leave the gym.

Man.  Screw you, Travel Channel.  Not only can I not enjoy beautiful locales with the lovely Samantha Brown, I can’t live vicariously through her as she travels to beautiful locales.

Sad, sad life I lead…looking at TV while I get all toned and whatnot.