If you saw Colbert the other night you saw in his latest Threat Down segment that the number one threat facing us today is PRETTY GIRLS!
“According to scientists at the University of Valencia in Spain that spending ‘Just five minutes with an attractive female raise the level of cortisol,…’ which is a stress hormone that has been linked to heart disease.”
That explains why whenever I see some of my female friends it feels like I had a Chili Cheese a Plenty at The Beacon! If you know me personally you know that every female I know is quite attractive. I’m not bragging because I have nothing to brag about. It’s just how it worked out. I know gorgeous women.
And it is evidently taking it’s toll on my heart. Spending time with my wonderful and beautiful female friends would be like eating Double Downs for lunch everyday. So I have a decision to make…I can’t spend time with them anymore.
Sorry ladies, but I have to guard my heart.
I’ll miss you and your lovely perfume, but you’re killing me. I’ve seen so many of you this week…
And that is how my heart is breaking this week.