This is my 101st blog.
Listen. You know what I don’t understand? Why girls go for jerks. Have you seen this show Tool Academy? Girlfriends of douche bags contact this show to teach the boyfriends how not to be such tools.
The problem is, they could’ve just dumped the guy. Do the girls not see that being a douche bag is in their nature? It’s who they are. Nobody uses that much hair gel and Axe if they aren’t. And you’re clearly annoyed by it…so why stay with him?
On top of that, they go on national television! Revealing to the country that they are dating these giant tools.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, there should be a test people can administer to prospective dates so they could find out if they’re douche bags. Or clothes specifically designed to appeal to douche bags so that when you see them in those clothes you know right away – douche bag.
Oh wait, that does exist. They’re called Ed Hardy t-shirts.
And there are tests for this too. Observe.
If you get any question right without just taking a stab in the dark…you are a douche bag. Best line of defense if you think douche bags are present – stab in the dark. Cyclical.
You know what Gosselin is saying in that picture up there? “I scored a perfect score! Now leave me and my Ed Hardy t-shirts alone! And who used up all my Axe hair gel!?!? Me? Oh, that was me? Nevermind!”