Read This Out Loud

I am we tall did.

You S.O.B.  How dare you say that?  I hope Sarah Palin is within earshot and reams you out over that.  Jerk.

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So I was watching HGTV earlier…yeah, cause that’s what I do!

And this couple was on looking for a house.  The lady was preggers.  Super preggo.  Had to be in the last trimester.  Or as some say, “trimesto.”
Then, at the end of the episode the dude gets down on one knee and proposes.  She said yes, by the way.  Apparently he went to Jared’s.
I must be a bastard or truly becoming a comic because in that tender moment while everyone on the screen was crying my thought process was,

“Way to go, moron.  Kinda put the cart before the horse on that one.  And what a jerk.  Now she’s either gonna have to plan a wedding while dealing with a newborn or wear a dress while super pregnant.”

Cause every girl dreams of her beautiful wedding day.  The perfect flowers, beautiful weather, and her lovely maternity dress.

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I saw a study earlier that states listening to music you enjoy boosts your mental health.  Which explains why I always want to kill myself when I hear Katy Perry.
And why I don’t want to slit my wrists when I listen to Elliott Smith.  I love “Needle in the Hay.”

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Are you still reading out loud?  Read this out loud.

I’m gay.  No, seriously.