I Hate To Break It To You…

Trite phrases are all pretty tiresome.

Like, “All’s fair in love and war.”  Well…no it’s not.  There are rules of engagement in war and in regards to love, just ask Tiger if anyone thinks cheating on your wife is “fair.”  Don’t even try to hand me that “but that doesn’t count,” nonsense.  The phrase isn’t “some things are fair in love…” it’s “ALL’S.”  So I’m gonna assume “all” is all-encompassing.
Bottom line is, stop saying it.  It’s an excuse to be deceptive.  You shouldn’t be deceptive, jerk.

One of my most hated phrases is “I hate to break it to you.”

You don’t hate to break it to me.  As a matter of fact, you’re reveling in breaking it to me.  You look intently into my eyes just so you can see the life slowly drain from them.

“I hate to break it to ya, but…”

Really?  You hate it?  Cause I got the impression you enjoyed saying that.  It didn’t at all come off like you “hated” it.  Did you think saying that softened it?  It didn’t.  Mainly because you followed it up with the worst thing anyone’s ever said to me.

My only point is that it doesn’t make a lot of sense.  Either you’re saying something awful that you’ve clearly been wanting to say for awhile or what you said really doesn’t make much of a difference to me.

One of my history teachers said to my class once, “I hate to break it to you kids, but a pizza is a pie.”  I actually asked out loud, “Why do you hate breaking that to us?”  Did he honestly think our enjoyment of pizza up to this point hinged on believing pizza was absolutely NOT a pie?

Great, now I want pizza.

Let’s just take the ridiculous phrases out of the lexicon.  Ok?  Great.  Well, I’m headin’.  See ya laters, alligators!

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