Ohhhh, Jennifer Esposito. Or to say it in Spanish…ayyyy, Jennifer Esposito.
It’s bad enough to find out that you’re getting married.
But why? Why? Why are you doing this?
You’re breaking my heart in the tackiest way possible. Why don’t you just go on that proposed Octomom reality show and try to steal Jon Gosselin from her while you’re at it? Or send your fiance up in a balloon just for attention?
This reality show stuff is pretty ridiculous. The people on them do a lot of disgusting and disturbing things on shows like Rock of Love and Shot of Love. And most of it involves just interacting with Bret Michaels and Tila Tequila.
Why would you want to subject something as beautiful as your wedding day to the shamelessness of reality-tv?
And this isn’t the first time you’ve broken my heart, Jennifer Esposito. First you married Bradley Cooper.
BRADLEY!!! (image me shaking my fist)
But now you’re marrying Aussie sports star Mark Philippoussis, whose name I had to copy and paste just to spell right? A guy who is only known in the U.S. for going on “Age of Love?” A reality show which EW.com recently named one of the Top 37 Most Appalling Shows of All Time.
If you don’t know, Age of Love was your typical Bachelor-type reality show. The catch was that the women Mark had to “date,” at first, were women in their 40s.
Then the producers threw a bunch of young, sexy girls at him to date. The point being, does age have an effect on finding “true love” or is it nothin’ but a number?
Even R. Kelly thinks that show is in poor taste.
So thanks, Jennifer Esposito. I now am left confused as to why I ever cared enough to end up heartbroken. Way to keep it classy.
And that is how my heart is breaking this week.