How My Heart is Breaking This Week

I’m disappointed.

I’ve been excited for weeks about making a 90s playlist.  I haven’t been in the mood to be nostalgic about the 90s until I realized how long ago it was.  I mean, it was ending 10 years ago!

So I was gonna go all out…but not too all out – Mambo No. 5 would not be making this list.  I wanted all the rap, the grunge, even songs I made fun of back then like Barely Breathing.

I used to joke that all of Duncan Sheik’s songs sounded like Barely Breathing until I realized I had just been hearing Barely Breathing a lot.

It just so happened that I got this nostalgic feeling to call Biggie “Big Poppa” around the time I saw that Vitamin Water was giving away a free single on Amazon for each bottle you bought.  It was a great idea because I loved the flavor that was a part of this promotion and I love free stuff.

Here’s what happened though, I bought over $17 worth of songs.  I redeemed my caps, saved em up to get my playlist together, knew they were on my Amazon account.  The I finally got my playlist together.  Now it was time to download.

I go to the site to start downloading and see that the money I had accrued was no longer on my account.  What?  I inquired about it.  Apparently the promotion is over.

Ok.  I knew it would end…but I redeemed these caps.  The money was on my account.

It WAS.  They took it all out of my account though.

What a way to damper my fun.  Thanks, Amazon.  Now I know how women in the 90s felt when George Michael came out of the closet.  They felt like the rug was taken off from under them.  I always wondered why women were surprised…just watch the video for “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.”  What straight man would do that?

I shouldn’t be surprised either, I guess.  It’s not new to big business to use shady tactics and fine print to get a quick buck from consumers.

But the real disappointment is that there won’t be any flava in my ear.  I won’t know how it feels to be Tom Petty.  I won’t be telling a girl she needs a man like Ralph Tresvant a man with S-E-N-S-I-T-I-V-I-T-Y.  I won’t be too sexy for my shirt.  I won’t have to let it linger.  No shooping.  No thanking my mother for a butt like this.  But I did get sabotaged.

And that is how my heart is breaking this week.