Tweet Me Beautiful

If you have a Twitter account then you probably know about “Trending Topics;” the most tweeted topic at that particular moment.

It’s how I found out about several celebrity deaths recently, but it’s also where some fun topics can be found.  Like #harrypottersequel where you tweet an absurd title in the style of Harry Potter book titles.  Or #firstdraftmovielines where people butchered famous quotes from movies.

I want to be a trend setter.  I figured it would look good on my resume and make me hip.  So, I thought up some possible trending topics I can float out there.  Let’s hope they stick!

I have one full of questions that John Mayer (@johncmayer) won’t answer because he A) Gets too many tweets to respond to or even see them all and B) Is too busy starting beef with Chelsea Hander that is about as exciting as Eminem starting a beef with Mariah Carey.
Either way, here are some examples of what this tweet could look like:

• Yeah, but how should fathers be good to their daughters? #questionsjohnmayerwontanswer
• Is rock star herpes harder than regular herpes? #questionsjohnmayerwontanswer
• How close to Lady Gaga did you have to stand to get herpes? #questionsjohnmayerwontanswer
• Isn’t Kristen Bell awesome? #questionsjohnmayerwontanswer
• When will your publicist start reminding you not to talk if you have a thought involving your penis? #questionsjohnmayerwontanswer

I often wonder what people would’ve tweeted about in years when Twitter didn’t exist.  So I came up with the idea of tweeting so you can make all the comments you would’ve made in, say, 1994.
Here are some examples of how that might work out:

• You know who is awesome and a stand up guy?  OJ Simpson. #tweetsfrom1994
• I think Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love are perfect together!!! #tweetsfrom1994
• People say I’m crazy, but I’m putting all my money on George Foreman tonight! #tweetsfrom1994
• This show ER is NOT going to be a hit.  Seriously.  Who cares about Rosemary Clooney’s nephew? #tweetsfrom1994
• No one can make people care about figure skating. Nobody will be talking about NancyKerrigan anytime soon.#tweetsfrom1994
• Dude.  I totally just saw OJ Simpson.  He looked beat up.  Hope he’s alright. #tweetsfrom1994

Here’s one for irony.  How about you write a bunch of your normal lame tweets about boring stuff you do, but act like it’s how Ice Cube circa NWA would role: #damnitfeelsgoodtobeagangsta

• I just balanced my checkbook!!! #damnitfeelsgoodtobeagangsta
• Gilmore Girls marathon!! #damnitfeelsgoodtobeagangsta
• Oh snap! Lovin Miley’s new song…Party in the USA. She just killed it on the Teen Choice Awards! #damnitfeelsgoodtobeagangsta
• Watchin’ my fave show! “Have a little fun, today.  Give a little love, away”  #damnitfeelsgoodtobeagangsta
• Going to the house in Greenwich for the summer #damnitfeelsgoodtobeagangsta
• I’m David Hyde Pierce #damnitfeelsgoodtobeagangsta
• Walking my chihuahua, which I named Piper cause that’s not at all gay. #damnitfeelsgoodtobeagangsta