I don’t know that anyone can say card shopping ever used to be fun, but it does seem more annoying to me now than it did around, say, Mother’s Day.
I went card shopping today for Father’s Day and it was so annoying. Mainly because I had to go to the bathroom. (My bladder can be a bit of an a-hole sometimes). I still found the process just aggravating.
The choices weren’t so great. They were either too this or too that. I’d pick up one card and think, “No, too dramatic.” Pick up another card, “No, too sappy.” Pick up another card, “Nah, I don’t love him that much.”
Ok, that’s just a joke but I will say that some of the cards I saw today sounded more suited for a gay lover to give his partner than for me to give my dad.
There were some cards that didn’t even say enough. “Hey. You’re my dad. Happy Father’s Day!”
Who was that for, the “long lost father” market?
It made me want to put together some “Terrible Card Sentiments:”
- “That is One Ugly Baby. Congrats???“
- “If I Were Going to Be in a Loveless Marriage I’d Want it to Be With You. “
- “I’m Sending You a Card Because I Hate Spending Time With You.”
- “Happy Patriot Day. Turns out I’m Not Your Father.”
- “Get Well Soon, But if You Don’t…Can I Have Your Tivo?”
- “Sorry I Missed Your Wedding, But How Often Does Springsteen Tour? Like, Once a Year?”
- “I Stole Your Identity. You Had a Great Time in Spain.”