You See Where This is Going

The surviving members of legendary jam band Grateful Dead are getting together for a tour.  And because of band member Phil Tesh’s involvement with President Obama’s presidential campaign the president is being credited for putting them back on the road.
Just what he needs, more of a connection with liberal hippies.  I think he’s gonna accomplish a lot but let’s not give him credit on this one.

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A robbery was thwarted at a Quik Thrift store in Georgia when a man, known only as “Caveman,” hit the robber with a ladder and chased him out of the store.
Wow.  Stopping crimes.  So easy a caveman can do it.

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A driving instructor in Massachusetts will lose his drivers license for a year for being drunk while giving someone a driving lesson.
Now anyone who has ever driven behind Lindsay Lohan actually knows where she learned to drive.

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A man in Delaware was arrested for breaking into a house and stealing $82 worth of chicken wings and Hot Pockets.
His sentence: Eating $82 worth of chicken wings and Hot Pockets.
The real question is, whose house did he break into?  Reginald Perry’s?  Kirstie Alley’s?  Seriously, who has $82 worth of chicken wings and Hot Pockets?

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And finally, a Los Angeles man on a flight to Honolulu was arrested for urinating on a woman while she was watching the in-flight movie.
Though traumatized by the event, the woman says it was more pleasant than the in-flight movie – The Love Guru.