Oh, I Got Jokes

EW.com reported this week that director Michael Mayer is adapting a musical for the Green Day album American Idiot then asked what albums others would like to see made into a musical.  I’d like to see the Pussycat Dolls convert any of their albums into musicals.
What?  I said I’d like to see it, not hear it.

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Madonna has come under fire recently for her attempts at adopting a second child from Malawi.  Critics are saying she’s being a “bully” and is using her “money and status to manipulate.”
I say I’m tired of hearing about Guy Ritchie and Madonna’s marriage.

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A man in Michigan allegedly had his pants set on fire and a teen is to blame for the incident.  At his arraignment the teen defended himself by saying, “Clearly he’s lying.”
If only Johnnie Cochran were still alive to defend this kid.  “If his pants are on fire, he must be a liar.”

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Police in Salt Lake City say that a customer fired shots into a McDonald’s Drive Thru window after being told by a worker that they weren’t serving lunch yet.
Wow.  Rosie O’Donnell must really love her McRib.
Ya know, this is just more proof that eating at McDonald’s can kill.  But for serious, those McGriddle’s are to die for.

They’re Fake and Not So Spectacular

The AP is reporting that last September a woman in Huntington Beach, CA opened a line of credit in someone else’s name with a fake ID all to get breast implants and liposuction.  Then she skipped town.

She turned herself in to police on Tuesday and posted bail.  Then hopped right back on the Rock of Love Bus.

How My Heart is Breaking This Week

Oh, Winnie Cooper from TV’s The Wonder Years.  You were the perfect cast.  You had to exemplify every girl an adolescent boy ever swooned over and you did it with such ease.  We all thought we had a chance with you.

And last week we all felt what Kevin felt that time he saw you kissing another guy at the summer resort when…you got married.  I mean the real you, not Winnie.  I mean Danica McKellar.  You grew up to be a math wiz and your beauty equaled that of your brains.

We all saw how The Wonder Years ended but secretly hoped we, unlike Kevin, would end up with the girl.  But it would never be.  You’re married now, but I still can’t help but look back on old times…with wonder.

And that is How My Heart is Breaking This Week.